Things That Make You Go hmmm…

Written by Hollye Dexter

50 Cent and his dog Oprah

This morning on my treadmill, I was watching Oprah interview Curtis Jackson (the rapper, 50 Cent). For years they had been at odds, or rather, Jackson had been at odds with her. Oprah has publicly come out against rap music which glorifies violence, uses the N-word, or has misogynistic language toward women. Jackson took that personally.
“I would see moments when you would discuss your feelings on the (rap) culture, and everything that was wrong with the culture was what was on my CD, and I was like, ‘Oh, she doesn’t like me,” said Jackson, even though Oprah had never met him nor said anything negative about him.
So what did he do?  He waged a war of words against her. He criticized her, said she pandered to white people. He named his dog Oprah, then tweeted that he had a bitch named Oprah.
In this interview, Oprah asked why he said all those things about her.
He responded, “I guess I was saying, If I can’t be your friend, at least let me be your enemy, so I co-exist.”
His response blew me away. Most of us wouldn’t be that self-aware, and if we were, few of us would admit it.
But isn’t that what people do?
Perez Hilton is a perfect example. He wasn’t rich and famous, so he criticized those who were, and in doing do, he made himself relevant in their world. (He has since seen the error of his ways.)
I wonder if we all do that in some way- especially when we judge others. Are we knocking them down a peg in order to make ourselves feel relevant in relationship to them?
Definitely something to ponder…

To keep myself in line, I have my favorite quote taped above my desk:

When you judge others, you do not define them. You simply define yourself as someone who needs to judge.
-Wayne Dyer

You May Also Like…

Why I Still Have Hope for America

These days, I wake in the morning weary with sadness. The world, politics, fear for my country has worn me down. But...

Read More

How To Survive Being Fired

Author Wayne Dyer recently told a story about doing an interview at a radio station where a huge layoff had just taken...

Read More

Downloading Happiness

  Wouldn't it be amazing if we could simply download happiness into our brains? According to Harvard researchers,...

Read More


  1. Ms Peach

    I <3 this. It is perfect, (but you don't need me to judge…_ : )

  2. jbwritergirl

    So true Hollye. I just finished a whole chapter in my new book on this very subject. Still working on the title. It's either "How to stop acting like an ass and live a happier life!"…the rules of engagement, or "the MAZE"…letting go of the life you don't want!

    We've all judged someone at some point. We've all been judged. Neither of them feel very good, but his perspective is very interesting.

  3. Hollye Dexter

    Hey Ms. Peach- I may not need you to judge but I always like to hear your thoughts. : )

  4. Hollye Dexter

    If you entitle it "How to stop acting like an ass" there are several people I'd like to send it to, ha ha.
    But then again, if I call them an ass, I'm judging. ; )

  5. Cheryl Moseley

    Hi Hollye, When I was at one of my three month silent Buddhist retreats, one of the most important lessons I learned was that we all judge. What is important is whether we are AWARE that we are judging, and if we see the karma of doing it, on a moment to moment basis. xoxo from your Montana girlfriend.

  6. Hollye Dexter

    I'm sorry- I can't get past the "three month silent retreats" part….
    I did a three day silent retreat once and almost lost my mind.

    But yes, awareness is key. Awareness of the judgment, and then not judging the judgment, simply noticing it and letting it go.

    So lucky I have such an amazing Montana girlfriend. xo

  7. Debbie

    Hollye, that is one of my FAVORITE quotes by Wayne Dyer … painful as it is, it reminds me to always be AWARE of my thoughts.



Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *