Reasons and Seasons and a lifetime of lessons.

Written by Hollye Dexter

November 29, 2011

There’s a saying that people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I’ve found that to be true. I’ve also found that every single person has come to teach me something.

My lifetime friends are the ones I can be my whole unedited self with, knowing that I will be loved and accepted. Our friendships are honest, and have withstood disagreements, tragedies, weddings, divorces, babies, deaths and the colossal ups and downs of life. From them I have learned the true meaning of unconditional love.
Some friends have come and gone, and from them, I learned that you can’t hold love with a tight grip, but only with an open hand.
Some friends are far away, but never stray from my heart. From them I learned that real love is timeless and can sustain long distance and periods of silence. (Diane- 28 years)
Some friends come into your life exactly when you need them. From them I’ve learned that prayers are answered.
Some friends turned out not to be friends.  From them I learned how to value myself.
Some friends stood by me when I was down, but resented me when I had success. From them I learned the importance of celebrating others’ victories.
Some were not happy to see me grow and change. From them I learned how to stand for myself.
Some were just plain mean and vindictive, and from them I learned the importance of boundaries, and releasing negativity from my heart.
Not one person has come or gone from my life without adding value to me as a person, so I can honestly say that every relationship has been a blessing. I have no regrets…even the bad ones were good once. I try to hold on to the happy memories of relationships gone bad, but most importantly I strive to learn the lesson that it held for me.

Who have been the blessings in your life – both good and bad?

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  1. Blondi Blathers

    I had a friendship of (at the time) 20 years, where we were as close as sisters, and yet she often said/did hurtful things. I asked myself whether this was really friendship and whether perhaps I didn't need her in my life. What I learned from the experience was that I was expecting my friend to be perfect, to never say or do the wrong thing, make a mistake, misunderstand me, etc. That phase of our friendship taught me that I needed to accept my friends with all their flaws, and that even friends do hurt each other at times. We've now been friends for more than 30 years, and it remains an imperfect friendship with a few trust issues but, just as if she was my sister, I wouldn't toss her out of my life for making a misstep here and there. I learned that I need to work on loving and approving of myself, no matter who my friends are or how they are behaving. That is the bottom line, for me.

  2. Hollye Dexter

    That is a gorgeous testament to friendship, stubblejumpin' Gal! We're all basically good and have loving hearts, and we're all jerks at times. Sometimes I give my friends a "Crazy pass" and ask them to return the favor when I need it. It works for us. But if someone is cruel, or a relationship brings you down consistently, it may be time to reassess.

  3. Julie

    I'm amazed by the inter-connectedness of it all, Hollye.

    I met you through Denise (whom I've been friends with for over three decades) but I also know Michelle Garrison from my years at Calabasas High School.

    And there she is in this picture of you, one of your long-time friends.

    When you open your heart to new experiences, the world truly shrinks.

    Even as the love expands.

    This is a fabulous post, my friend.
    Almost as lovely as you are.

  4. Hollye Dexter

    Julie- and I met Denise through Erin, who is sitting next to Michelle in that picture, so the world is actually shrinking as we speak. It just needs to shrink even a bit more so I can see you more often.

  5. Anonymous

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  6. Donald Sanders

    Geeze, don't you have any ugly people in your family? Nevermind, I forgot that's the reason my wife married me so her family could have an ugly guy to balance things out a little.
    Seriously, Happy holidays to you and your lovely family.


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