I wish I was a tough broad – one who could say, and truly mean, I don’t give a rats ass what anyone thinks of me. But when you love someone, you hand them your porcelain china heart, and hope to God they will treat it with care. You hope they know better than to run it through the dishwasher, or to stack it carelessly, or to just plain let it slip from their hands.
My heart was broken this weekend, several times over. Shattered. It was a real mess – china shards everywhere. Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat. And I fell into darkness, again. This time it was so deep I couldn’t see even a pinpoint of light. I was hopeless, faithless. Dark.
My husband felt the same way, pacing the house in the middle of the night, wondering if we should just cash it all in, sell our house, move away, start a new life somewhere. But by daybreak, he was sitting peacefully meditating, centered, watching the sun come up with a smile. I envied him.
“It’s a new day,” he said, “everything is going to be okay.”
“I don’t believe that,” said Baby Jessica from the bottom of the well.
He put his arm around me, “Then I’ll believe it for both of us.”
That was miracle number one. Love.
As the sun came up yesterday, my girlfriends began to call….
“Hey, what’s going on with you. Haven’t heard from you- are you okay?”
And one by one, they tossed me the rope, pulling me a little further up to where, yes, I could see a tiny pinpoint of light. Amy, Cindy, Dani, Erin, Diane…each a messenger of hope, each telling me to stand strong, that I was worthy, I was good. Most importantly, that I was loved. Before I knew it, I was standing on solid ground with the sun on my face. Angels are everyday people who walk amongst us…I call them friends.
That was miracle number two – Kindness.
And then both my sister and my brother called, to talk to me about all the fun we’re going to have this weekend when they fly into town for Evan’s birthday, filling my heart, giving me something to truly look forward to, reminding me that I am not abandoned, I am not alone.
Miracle number three – Family.
My friend Amy had challenged me to make three miracles happen this week, and I thought I had failed the challenge miserably. Instead, something else happened – I didn’t create the miracles, they came to me. They showed up right when I needed them, and thank God I opened my eyes.
Everyday miracles are all around us. The kindness of a stranger, the phone call that comes at just the right time, the little bit of money that shows up when you need it…all the little things that keep our ship upright in the center of a storm. Keep your eyes open, my friends.
I’m sending you all great love today, wishing you endless miracles.