When I got fired from my job in June, it pretty much knocked me flat. Not only had this been a job, it had been a calling. Add to that the betrayal by people I’d thought were my friends.

My true friends rushed in to lift me, like emotional EMTs.

Amy said, “You haven’t lost anything. I know you will find the medicine in this poison.”

Dani said, “You’ll get through this, and I will help you.”

Erin said, “Fuck them. I’ll be right over with wine and take-out,” which at the time were my favorite words.

My facebook inbox lit up like a Christmas tree as my friends across the country got wind of the news. They said, “We love you. We’ve got your back. Nothing can erase all the good work you did.”

A few days later I talked with my friend Julie, and she said, “They haven’t knocked you down. They have elevated you.”

“Elevated me? How?”

“Because I know you. You will find the good in it. You’ll write about it, and you’ll share your story with others. In the end you will be stronger because of it. You will rise above this, and that’s how they have elevated you.”

Of course, I hadn’t thought of it like that.

Author and spiritual teacher Marianne Williamson says that when someone deflects a miracle from you, when they block goodness that is meant for you, the Universe will hold the miracle in trust, and will find another way to make sure you receive it. It may come from another person or a different job, or another door will open that you never knew existed.

In other words, when someone tries to knock you down, you should really thank them for teaching you courage and strength, and also for teaching you who you don’t want to be, because in the meantime, all the good things that are your due are still on their way.

No one can really ever take anything from you. It’s up to each of us to lay down in defeat, or to elevate.

I choose to elevate.

You May Also Like…

Why I Still Have Hope for America

These days, I wake in the morning weary with sadness. The world, politics, fear for my country has worn me down. But...

Read More

Sifting Through the Rubble

Lately, I've been sifting through the rubble of what was my former optimistic self, trying to figure out what to make...

Read More


“Darkness defines the light.” That’s what my yoga/meditation teacher Kristen Eykel said, as we engaged in a deep...

Read More


  1. LIVING FORWARD: New Rules

    Opportunities come to us in very unexpected ways. One door closes in order for you to see there is still spread room in your wings! Spread 'em girl and fly! You got this! And love has your back! <3

  2. Unknown

    Hollye, in every fight like the one you were in, there are 'friends' (the ones on your side) and 'enemies' (the ones on the other side). It is not within the power of enemies to betray you; it is only your friends who can do that. In my 30+ years of activism, I never suffered a scratch from an enemy, but I bled many times from wounds inflicted by those on 'my side'. Ironically, I often left the battlefield with friends from the opposing side, people who fought vigorously against my stand. You will survive – and you don't have to love them!

  3. Debbie

    Getting fired is the worse human experience to go through and I KNOW! It is humiliating, painful, confusing … you question yourself and everything you ever did … and it knocks you to your knees. I lost two jobs in four years during the worst economic crises since the depression. BUT … though I ALMOST lost hope, I found a great gig paying GREAT money with great benefits and great people and I've never been happier. I am so grateful that I was fired from that last, horrible job! You're an amazing write Hollye and there is a new and better opportunity/challenge/adventure just waiting for you!

  4. Hollye Dexter

    Thank you so much Alma. Yes, what hurt the most initially is that the betrayal came from those I loved and trusted. But now that I know the truth about who they are, I am so glad to be out of there.

    Another thing I learned is that so many people I love and respect have been through this- at first I thought it was only me.

    Thank you for your encouraging words.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *